Posted by
ScarletPimpernel on Thursday, November 13, 2008 12:37:45 PM
I don't know where my head's at: The Border
We will enforce both borders, especially the Southern one. The Northern one will be a little looser guarded because we DO want some aliens to slip through and live among us without us knowing it - William Shatner, Pamela Anderson, Dan Aykroyd, Kiefer Sutherland, Evangeline Lilly, and, of course, Tom Green.
We will send money, guns and lawyers to the border states to help them. We will use National Guard units. We will start shooting upon any armed invaders.
We will build an attractive looking wall that runs the whole way from Baja to the Gulf of Mexico. We will use the gated communities of Beverly Hills and San Francisco for inspiration in the design of the walls.
Inland, we will fine apartment owners, banks, mortgage lenders, and employers $10,000 per illegal that we catch them doing business with. All emergency hospital bills will be sent to the Mexican government or to the mayor of San Francisco whichever is closer.
Prisons
There will be no such thing as reform. Prisons will be for punishment. No cable television. No magazines. Books only. No free weights. They can smoke all they want. There will be a pizza buffet everyday. We don't want a bunch of Hercules coming out into society after years of learning to be better criminals.
Sentencing for prisoners will be contracted - there will be no more 3 to 9 year range. If you are convicted of first degree murder then you get 25 years. If someone was annoying you and you took care of them, you get 7 years. And on down the line. Child molesters get the death penalty. Rapists get whatever the victim says they should get.
There will be an option for prisoners to improve themselves while in prison. They can get their sentences reduced if they write a thesis paper on an agreed upon topic of societal or religious interest. Being criminals, we will also test their knowledge of said topic and/or give them a college level test to see if they actually wrote the paper. Pop quiz, hotshot! This is not reform as it is entirely up to the prisoners to do it or not. They will have to learn what they should have learned on the outside and will benefit society when they are released.