Now that we have defeated the amnesty bill it is time to get rid of the scofflaw troublemakers.

Since the libs promised to leave several times and have broken their promise (shocked, shocked I say!) it looks like we're gonna have to round them up. We'll start with the university campi faculty lounges. Then we'll invade Manhattan, San Francissy, and Beverly Hills. Next we'll work our way inwards thru the yoga studios, newspapers, health food stores and coffee houses.

Normally, men fight but in this case it will be the women who are the toughest - so be on guard. Watch out for harsh slogans that don't necessarily rhyme or make sense and the awful body odor.

We will commence at 06:00. They will just be getting to bed and will be drugged already.  They will be deported to Venezuela, Mexico, Cuba, that place where Angelina gets her babies fresh, and various sites in the Arab world (whose cultures we should all respect, of course).

Laura Ingraham played a clip from Harry Reid on her show today. In the clip, and I'm paraphrasing here, Harry said, "I was in my office the other day and got a call from my friend, Tommy.  I'm not giving out his last name cause I'm afraid that someone would, someone would contact him.  Tommy told me, and I do have his last name.  Tommy told me he had a friend from Mexico and should he be for this bill. I said, 'Of course you should'. This bill will keep people like Tommy from being deported."

Now, we know Harry is a hero to his little buddies everywhere but, gosh, I just wonder how many Tommys he knows?  Now was Tommy the little fella who called or is he the one who is afraid of being deported?  Who is Tommy?  Is it Tommy Daschle?  Tommy Lee?  Tommy Lasorda?  Lasorda does live in LA, you know. And if Reid knows someone's illegal, shouldn't he turn in him?

Well, if Jimmy Stewart can have a friend named Harvey, I guess Harry can have friends named Devon and Tommy and Tommy.

I figured out several months ago that if we just let all the illegal immigrants into the country all willy-nilly we will set our country's clock back about 80 years. 

The 12 million or so illegals here, who President Bush and his buddies want to grant amnesty to, will soon multiply into 25 million and then 40 million over the next decade.  Doubt if you want but gigantic shifts start with the slightest movement.   Remember when you could smoke at work?  How bout driving without buckling up? One day someone said, "Hey I don't like that.  They shouldn't do that."   And look what happened.

Anyway, I think the Republicans are thinking short-term.  The business lobbyists or someone is promising money and no pain if they'll get this amnesty bill passed.  You may think I'm overly mean to call them the Stupid Party but I think it aptly describes a party that gave back it's power after 40 years of struggle to achieve it.  Reagan and Rush got it back to prominence, the '94 Congress got it stable, the 2000 election cemented it (the Supreme Court Justices and tax cuts galore).  But look at it now:  mismanagement and bungling, bad PR, bad communication, lack of leadership at all levels, and no heart to fight the dark side.  

Now for the coupe d'etat.  Bush, McCain, Lott, and Lindsay "Shut Up!" Graham want to hand the Dems back the crown for the next 50 years.  If this bill gets passed, two things will happen. 

1. The Dems' voting constituency will skyrocket.
2. The Stupid Party will lose a record number of seats in the House and Senate.

What the Stupid Party refuses to see is that the vast majority of Mexicans coming in don't care about the United States' laws, history, idealism etc.  They just want money, naturally.  They will be mostly uneducated and unskilled laborers.  You know, Democrats.  This has happened before.  Anyone ever hear of the Depression?  Millions of farmers and laborers who only knew how to do manual labor (God Bless 'em) and little or no work available.  Who was theIR hero?  Franklin Delano Roosevelt.  He used government and taxpayers' money to take care of them.  He was elected so many times they had to pass a law to stop it. 

Think the Democrats have read history this one time?  Of course they know what will happen if the illegals are given a pass.  The Mexicans will overwhelmingly vote Democrat.  There will be millions of new, poor people to take care of.  And whose job is that?  The Church of course, but we know that won't happen.  So the Dems will once again rule over the unwashed masses.  The Stupid Party will revert back to the hapless martini drinkers of yore.  They will be in a small minority.

The Stupid Party will actually represent the rich, just like the Libs have always accused them of.  I'm not sure who we will elect to represent all of us not-so-rich and downright middle-class Americans.   

We've all read instruction manuals that have been translated from another language to english.  I've marvelled at how the interpreters came to conclude that "Set the clock on the DVD by punching in your zip code" in Japanese, Spanish, or Russian, comes out as "Sit down on watch in DVD machine at slap you numbers". 

Well, here's how I translated my entry from yesterday.  I went to www.freetranslation.com.  I typed in what I wanted to say and clicked on "free translation".   If you take the spanish version and reverse it back to english it comes out like this:

"My American neighbors, I mean that I worship the Mexican people.  Myself admire them for the work dedicated that they do.  I believe that they do great to Americans.  The problem that face is that too many of them come in our country illegally.  This begins them far away in the wrong foot with us.  How we can say that admire the ones that break the law?  Unless, of course, we be lberales and democratic.  Permit us all works together to maintain them of curve al crime.  We build the close large one.  We punish owners of employers and apartment that break the law also.  It is the correct thing to do.  Thanks." 

-I think you know what I'm trying to say.

My wife and I use this service quite a bit.  We started about 4 years ago sending love messages to each other.  The reason is because in Italian or French a woman just knows that you love her more.  The proof is that what you have told her is in Italian or French.  Ever hear one of those guys NOT sound romantical? 

I suggest you try it with your innamorato. It is hilarious.  Type in what you want to say. Translate it. The object of your love will have to re-translate it to english.  Your beloved will think that there is something wrong with you. But they will like it.  

Mis Americanos prójimos, yo quiero decir que adoro a las personas mexicanas. Yo los admiro para el trabajo dedicado que ellos hacen. Creo que ellos hacen gran a Americanos. El problema que encaramos es que demasiados de ellos vienen en nuestro país ilegalmente. Esto los empieza lejos en el pie equivocado con nosotros. ¿Cómo podemos decir nosotros que admiramos los que rompen la ley? A menos que, por supuesto, seamos lberales y demócratas. Permítanos todo trabaja juntos para mantenerlos de curva al crimen. Construyamos la cerca grande. Castiguemos dueños de empleadores y apartamento que rompen la ley también. Es la cosa correcta de hacer. Gracias.

I was going to put this idea as one of many random thoughts but I think we could use this to get the RNC's attention.

I'M VOTING FOR ILLEGALS BECAUSE THEY'LL DO THE JOB SOME AMERICANS WON'T!

It is too long for a bumper sticker but we don't do bumper stickers anyway.

Let's stay home next election and get rid of all the Stupid Party members.  We can put them back in next time around if they behave. We survived Carter and Clinton, we can last 4 years with the Dems in power. I'm willing to pay for it.

Many people have pointed out lately that President George W. Bush has not changed from the person, back in 1999-2000, for whom all normal people voted.  This is probably true.  They say we shouldn't be getting all riled up over his positions on immigration, Harriet Meierers, Gonzalez, and his trying to work with Dems, etc.  Maybe it is our fault that W. is acting as W. does - we should have known better.  Maybe we ignored that funny feeling we had about his conservative credentials.  Maybe we overlooked his "compassionate" leanings in our zeal to see Looney Al Gore defeated.  Let's say this is all true. 

I ask, "So what?"

Why is it our fault that the President is so stubborn and unwilling to change?  Stubbornness can be a great quality at times - that's when we call it perserverance and grit.  But when you are stubborn for stubborn's sake, it is not helpful.  President Bush has refused to change, to grow.  The infuriating thing is he seems to be able to LISTEN and RESPOND and COOPERATE with the damn DEMOCRATS!  He just won't listen to us.  This is very annoying.  After a while of being ignored, then told to pipe down, then called xenophobes, well, let's just say - we are tired of it.  

We are tired of Repubs, starting with the President, not defending our principles.  We are tired of the party not defending us and their own party members.  President Bush is our leader and he has not changed his manner of dealing with the press, the libs, the Dems, and his own backers.  He just doesn't talk about it.  Or he waits for a month to go by before he says anything about an issue.  Then it is way too late.  He just comes off as defensive and reluctant at that point.  After a while, we stop supporting him, respecting him, defending him,  and sympathizing with him.  We eventually get to the point of either ignoring him or taking political shots at him ourselves.  I have done both.  The frustration gets to me. 
 
Now, I think I know what he is doing.  He is a Christian and he has absolute faith that God will handle everything and everything will work out fine. The problem is, God may want him to actually clue us in on the President's big picture plans.  As Dr. Evil said, "Need the 411!"  

Seven years is a long time.  Seven years ago I was a totally different person.  I have grown since then.  I have wised up. I have changed some of my viewpoints.  I have reinforced some of my core beliefs.  The point is, I hope I am not the same person I was 7 years ago.  That would be a sign of stunted mental and emotional growth.  

How would we like it if our Dads, or our bosses, or our church leaders, or our accountants just went about their business, leaving us out of the loop?  How would our wives and children like it if we didn't talk to them or just kept telling them, "Just do it." with no discussion?  

Or, how would our friends and family and co-workers like it if we learned the job in the first month and then never progressed?  We just kept doing things the same way over and over.  Do you think they'd get a bit peeved?  Would they consider us an effective, worthwhile co-worker?  Would we enjoy following a boss or pastor who just kept everything to himself or herself?  Does a coach keep his job if he never changes strategy and the fans quit showing up?   

I admire the President for being strong in the war on terror.  I'm glad that we got two good Supreme Court Justices out of his terms.  I know he has kept taxes low.  But the most important thing about being President is communication, especially public relations.  Now, having character and morals is right up there, but if you have them and no one knows much about you, what good is that?  Carter was, unfortunately for him, a good communicator.  We just didn't appreciate his message.  Clinton is the greatest politician I have ever seen.  Half the people love him.  If Clinton were a poor communicator, along with being so corrupt, imagine how bad things would be for him.  President Bush, just like his dad before him, poor communicator.  "Gotta say it.  Bad. Baaadddd.  Just not gone do it.  Not prudent."  Sorry, I wandered afield there for a minute.  We can say at least W. came by it honestly.   

Hey, Mr. President.  Humble yourself and learn to talk with us.  Find some new people to get advice from.  Otherwise, you will rank with Carter on being the lamest of ducks at the end of their presidency.        



 

I know I'm a dumb conservative Christian who is keeping mankind from reaching perfection because I don't believe in The Theory of Evolution.  For the past week or so I have been trying to have intelligent exchanges with liberals about this subject.  The exchanges go something like this:

Me:  Say, have you guys proven that yet?
Lib:  You're a hick.
Me:  Say, did you know that Darwin and the subsequent scientists used what we call "bad science" and that their methods and experiments have been discounted? 
Lib: God is just make believe, you Luddite.
Me:  How did the eye evolve sloooowwwwlllyyyy?  I mean, what, was it, "I can almost see. I can almost see. I can almoooooosssssttttt see. I can see!"
Lib:  Christians suck. You don't like science.

If you're a Lib, here is what you have to believe if you believe in Evolution.  Let's start with the Big Bang Theory. Oh yeah, it has been pooh-poohed as well.  But, since facts are irrelevant to libs, let's just go with it.

BBT and Evolution- There was a big explosion.  Rocks flew everywhere.  They fell into orbit around the Sun.  Only one out of thousands/millions was able to have the right mixture of gas and was just the perfect distance from the Sun to form Life.  Where did Life come from? Who knows, who cares.  So this Life was not what we envision - playing sandlot baseball, going to college, drinking champagne with our bride, buying a home, birthdays, sunsets, watching American Idol.  No, this Life was swimming around in a pond.  Out of this pond some, but not all, amoebas decided to become frogs, some porcupines, some Louisville Cardinal fans, some Tyrannosauri Rex.  Not in that order.   The ones that didn't become daisies or cheetahs got lucky enough to become monkeys.  Now the monkeys were special because they were the only animals that could morph into modern Libs.  The other animals, all 500,000 species and variants, did not have the ability or luck to be able to have opposable thumbs, a special jaw for speech,  consciousness of their surroundings, self-awareness, and cable television.  Sorry fish.  Sure, you have your schools but where are your hospitals?  That's what the monkey thought!  Too bad, birds.  So long, giant tree sloths - suckas.  These monkeys kept breeding up.  The ones with curly blond hair (dyed, according to the brunettes) got the best dates.  Eventually these monkeys became advanced enough to attend Berkeley. The main clues that Libs use to prove their ancestors were monkeys is that Libs have scruffy hair all over their bodies and they have to use patchouli to cover up the smell.  The well-to-do Libs use gin, marijuana, and condescension.
 
These Libs do not believe in the Creation Theory.  THAT story is too far-fetched for them.

If we go with what Libs believe, then man obviously is supposed to believe in God(s).  Why do I say that? Because every single culture has acknowledged God(s).  Since Man does what he does due to evolution, then he must be compelled by Nature to believe in God(s), right?  If he wasn't supposed to believe in God(s) then he wouldn't still believe in them at this late date, would he?  Uh oh. Problem. Libs don't believe in God(s).  Some of them play at it, but they don't put too much credence in it. 

Also, ironically, Libs DON'T believe in survival of the fittest.  Survival of the fittest is one of the elements of the Origin of the Species, which is part of Evolutionary Theory.  Survival of the fittest is self-explanatory.  Michael Jordan dominated his opponents.  He won.  The others lost.  Same with other animals. Libs, however, believe in quotas, welfare and universal healthcare.  They believe in subsidies and extra points for being a minority.  They believe in lowering the bar.  They believe in test-tube babies for lesbians and gay couples. Speaking of which, if evolutionary theory is correct, why do they love gay marriage so much? 

One more thing.  Abortion.  Nature tries its best not to abort the next generation.  Life must go on.  Well, not if you're a Lib.  They abort their next generation.  Are you starting to get the feeling that, like most things they profess to believe and support, Libs think that evolution is for OTHER creatures and not them. 

Now, am I ignorant?  Do I hate science?  No, I just realize that science involves scientists who are human and have biases.  Some of these guys and gals get paid from government money. In order to get money from the government they need to keep coming up with theories etc.  That's what global warming is about.  That and global warming is the new home for commies and socialists.  Also, science changes.  Remember the Ice Age was coming back soon?  That was 1973.  I remember I was in elementary school and very scared about that.  It seems they were wrong. So I don't put much stock into science.  I do think it is helpful and worthy.  I also acknowledge that science is everchanging by its nature.  But does that make me smarter if I believe everything they say when they will just change their minds later?  

Here's why I don't believe in the Theory of Evolution.  
1. It's still a THEORY.  They haven't proven it yet.  Like the Theory of Gravity.  Oops.  Gravity is not just a good idea, it's the law. 

2.  I've read other scientists who disagree with Darwin.  Michael J. Behe wrote a book called, Darwin's Black Box.  It goes into great detail, point by point why Darwin's theory should be discounted.  I recommend it.  It backs up what many of us consider common sense.

3.  Why are there still monkeys?  And did you know we share like 63% of the same DNA with tulips?  Where are our anthers?

4. How does an eye evolve over time?  If we believe what they say, creatures with the ability to see would breed with eachother.  OK. How did the first one develop an eye?  How did the other know he could see?  They've tried to replicate this theory using high tech computers.  They have failed to do so.  

5.  If something changes from a monkey to a man in 1 second - it is called magic.  But if it takes 1 million years then they call it evolution.  

6.  They also cannot repeat the experiment where they take a closed system of gas and electricity and form life.

7.  Everything must have a catalyst to be put in motion.  This is scientific. No matter how far back you go eventually you will have to name the thing that started it.  Now where did this thing get its start?

8.  If things evolved slowly how do we explain the Cambrian Explosion?  This is the layer in the earth's crust that shows a whole lot of advanced shaped, fully-formed fossils.  Basically, one layer has teeny tiny cell fossils and then the next one has small creatures the size of birds and dogs.  What happened to the in-between?

9.  Abberations in nature usually die out.  A lion with 3 eyes will not get any play.  He will be the last of his kind.  Also, has anyone noticed that most undomesticated animals reproduce carbon copies of themselves?  Man does not.  Unless they're Swedish.

I do believe in survival of the fittest.  That makes sense.  A tall giraffe will be able to eat more of the leaves in the high branches. The lovely lady giraffes will look at him and say, "Saaaay, who's that tall drink of water?"  So the next generation will be a little taller.    The toughest wolves will reproduce simply because they  take over the pack.  Their genes get passed down.  

I also believe the earth is older than 6,000 years.  I believe there were dinosaurs.  I also believe there were giants, for what that's worth. 

I also realize that just because I don't believe the Theory of Evolution does not prove that God exists.  I just find it annoying that Libs can be so smug and think that Evolution should be the default position and that Christians are primitive and unreasonable.  They also think that this proves there is no God. They can't prove their theory but they think God is imaginary.  They think Jesus was just a nice man, not crazy because he said he was the son of God, just a cool dude.  

So, did Liberals evolve from monkeys?  Even though their reactions mimic monkeys sometimes - think of the reaction to Ann Coulter speaking at a college campus - I have to admit that, no, they are not actually monkeys.   Here's what I think, we were made in God's image like He said.  The mystery of Life we can find out about after this life is done.    

In my ongoing effort to avoid real work and real issues I give you an expose that will change the way you think about your favorite hunk.   Warning: a bit of naughty language.

This entry is part of my correspondence with Shining City on the Hill.  I figured you guys might enjoy it as well.  The subject is how to respond to those who are disagreeable and who disagree with us, the good people.  We are supposed to be kind and patient. Yeah. 

"Anyway, I go overboard with the "would i say it to their face" thing sometimes. But the comedian in me just can't let a putdown slide:) I got a million insults for the Left. I think they secretly enjoy it.

I do get along with as many people as I can in my work life, church, etc. Actually I'm extremely diplomatic. My wife says too diplomatic. I just don't think some things are worth proving my point or doing what's right. Not in big things, mind you. Just the little things. Like if I get something I didn't order. My wife will drive back thru the drive thru whereas I'll just eat it.

But sometimes, and as gently as I can, I insert facts into the conversation or a 180 degree different perspective. This is called a conversation stopper amongst my liberal aquaintances. Of course, sometimes I am a little too blunt. eg - One lady says, "We shouldn't even be over there (Iraq)" and I replied, "Yeah, screw those brown people. They wouldn't know what to do with freedom anyway". Now see?, that was an icebreaker, I thought.

The other day I gently reminded a co-worker that I know it is taking the Iraquis a while to get it together. But I pointed out that we didn't have a permanent government for 13 years. And we had about 2000 years of Greco-Judeao-Christo-British law/government to base ours on. The Iraquis (Arabs) have a foreign mindset that must have time to adjust. She got real quiet. Sigh. "

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSAIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

KEN STARR
I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the
President of the United States of America in an effort to distract law
enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal
wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As
a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing
and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law.
For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional
immunity provided he cooperates fully with our investigation.
Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side
of the road until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up
investigations have been completed. (We also are investigating whether
Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Rev. Jerry
Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit
any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle
his feathers.)

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 08, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook--and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken please?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
the black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

GEORGE BUSH
Cause it's hard hard work. The cha-hicken crossed the road to this great country, Merica. It stayed the course. People who don't want chickens here have a problem with roosters, er chickens, that don't have anything to do with Merican values.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?

Sure I know some of them are old.

Man, youse guys are a goldmine:  Scatbug gave me another idea for an entry.  He told me what a real live dietician told him and his wife about diet and weight loss.  The dietician says we don't have to radically change our diet - we just have to watch our portions.  What do you do to fit into those clothes from high school?  Share your ideas, tips, and methods for staying in bikini/speedo shape, won't you?  Otherwise I'm gonna have to do real research and write about Islamofacists or something.

Two myths concerning weight loss that I have trouble conquering:

1. I have to run 5 miles a day
2. I have to eat celery, oatmeal, and chicken (only) everyday. and maybe some berries.

My research tells me these two myths are not compulsory but my instinct says "yes, that's the way you've always done it."  When I go on a weight loss/body shaping adventure I usually get strict on the diet and run run run.  Well, frankly, I don't want to anymore.  My knees are creaky but sturdy and unharmed and I want to keep them that way.  My feet are hanging in there.  This method will work but I end up weak and irritable about half the time.  I want to look like James Bond (with bigger swim trunks of course) in "Casino Royale".  Or just fit into my good dress pants.

The collective advice from my online research all says the same thing: lift weights, run less, eat several small meals a day and be patient.  No more than 2 pounds a week.  Here's the problem. I am impatient.  I know I have to get over the shocking fact that I'm not a youngster anymore.  I can't drop 5 pounds a week and keep it off.  So, I am going to try again to follow the above advice.  Weights every other day and short distance cardio every other day.  I like Scatbug's suggestion that I can eat what I want a LOT!  However, my "portions" may not fit to scale.  I tend to think that eating the whole pizza equals a "portion". 

For your entertainment purposes only: My best weight loss ever was when I lived on beer, whiskey and cigarettes and Frank Sinatra for months.  No exercise involved.  My wife has disallowed this method as an option.  So, I reckon I'm off to the gym. Enjoy.

One of the fun things about TH is culling ideas for blog entries from THers' comments on other blogs.  This entry comes from a comment made by VirginiaDaddy stating that he has trouble getting started in the mornings.  "Hey!" I thought, "That was me for about 40 years!"  

So here are my methods to transform from a nightowl into a morning lark.  Remember, it's a process and I didn't do it all at once:

1. Get right with God.  Learn about Him. Develop a relationship with Him.  Have full faith and confidence that He knows what He's doing with your Life.  I get up early to pray, meditate on and study the Word.  I also try to follow biblical standards for men.  And my family tithes.  It is sacrificial giving and it is a way to show my faith that God will provide for me and mine.  I used to stay up late and be tense all the time about money.  I'm telling you, you start tithing - in the right spirit - you will be amazed at how God does math and finances as compared to how you mess it up.  This is one of the only areas (I'm pretty sure) that God asks you to test Him.  What does this have to do with early rising?  You will sleep easier.

2. Quit drinking.  This may not apply to you.  But, if you like to knock back a few this usually entails being around others at local pubs and clubs.  And THAT usually entails staying up til midnight to finish watching MNF or the playoffs.  If you drink alone - get some help.  Even if you don't go out to drink, alcohol tends to give you a fitful rest.  You will wake up several times, usually to go to the bathroom.  I found that one of the great benefits from not drinking every single night was that I fell asleep a lot quicker and woke up feeling way better.

3. Go to bed earlier.  Stop kidding yourself that you're still young enough that 5 hours of sleep will do fine.  I looked around at my most successful, well-adjusted friends and found that one thing in common that they had was that they didn't answer the phone after 9ish in the pm and that they were all in bed by at least 10.  Some even said, if they were tired enough or bored or knew they had a busy day ahead - they went to sleep at 8!  Shocking to me.  So I've been going to bed by 9:30-10ish for a while.  I usually read for a while and then it's off to dreamland.  It really works.

4. Don't eat for about 3 hours before you hit the hay.  The other night, I had a huge plate of pasta and some delicious red wine at about 8:30 pm.  Now, the carbs and the alcohol will make you feel really sleepy.  BUT I kept waking up every 2 hours or so and felt very sluggish the next day.  Heavy carbs before bed make me feel sluggish the next morning.  And protein is worse.  I am super-alert if I eat protein and cannot drop off as soon as I'd like. 

5. Cut way back on caffeine after 3 pm. Duh.  I love coffee, tea and diet sodas.  I had to train myself into drinking caffeine free coffee, tea, and diet sodas.  To me, coffee without caffeine just didnt' make sense.  But now, I've given in and done the right thing.  There's only so much water a fella can drink. 

6.  Have a good reason to get up.  I don't know if many people think of this but I did some research and came across this simple notion.  I used to just dread going to work.  Now, I've changed my attitude so I don't mind getting up earlier.   I also figured out that I hate going to the gym after work.  I can take myself by surprise if I hit the gym before I realize what's going on - so I go in the early morn.  I also neglected my bible study if I waited until the evening to do it.   The early morning time is extremely quiet. Not even the birds wake up til 6ish.  You can really concentrate and be with God when it so tranquil.  Ironing and miscellaneous tasks are not fun reasons to get up but you can really get a lot done before 8 am trust me.  So now I have at least 3 things to get up for. 

7. Did I mention exercise?  Yes, that fun thing that all of us past the age of 25 just love to do.  I bust my hump for at least an hour a day 6 days a week.   I go between the treadmill, eliptical and cross-country skier.  Plus weight lifting.  I vary the routines to keep me interested.  If you exercise hard enough each day, believe me you will want to go to sleep early.  I try to burn 1000 calories each time. 

8. Get up early.  Don't ease into it. Just set the alarm and get on your feet.  I used to take a freezing cold shower when I first got up.  This will get your full attention.  This might be easier: I know this will sound silly, but practice getting up when the alarm goes off.  Find some time during the day; lay down on the bed as if you're going to sleep and set the alarm.  When it goes off, get up.  Do this enough times and your body will automatically respond to the alarm.  So if it is 6 pm or 5 am all your body knows is that it's time to get up. 

All of these suggestions work together.  And they will all come together if you keep at it.  I usually get out of bed, change into my workout clothes, get my coffee, bible and study guides.  Then I either stand at the kitchen counter or sit down on the couch.  I give thanks for the day that has been given to me and ask for guidance in my studies.  Then I read from Psalms or Proverbs out loud to begin.  After study I get to the gym and then come back and do what I need to do to get ready for the rest of the day.  After work, I have time to spend with my wife, read, play on the computer, meet with other people for fun or whatever.  And I drop off to sleep early. 

Nowadays, I have impressed my family and friends by being ready to go and feeling fine so early in the mornings.  I am on time for work, tee times, and church.   The early riser life is the life for me!  (just a little 1950's style musical sendoff to make you feel good about changing to this new lifestyle:) 

I am not necessarily for Mitt Romney for President.  It is not because he is Mormon either. It used to be but then I thought about it some and decided that God won't smite us all if I considered him for President. I mean, Utah is still standing, isn't it? 

Now, for those of you who are Evangelical (as am I), Protestant, Episcopalian, Baptist, or Catholic; let's go over the reasons why it will be okay for Romney to win.

Politically, Romney is the most conservative candidate.  McCain?  Better charge up your memory cells.  Remember the Gang of 14?  How about 2 weeks ago?  We cannot count on McCain to stay consistent on conservative issues.  He is similar to Clinton and even Newt.  When things are slow and his name hasn't been in the press for a month or so, McCain will let loose with some decree from on high that only the MSM will love.  I think Rush is right - McCain is a creation of the media. 

Now, I know that just because the others are lacking, doesn't prove that Romney is the most conservative - but he is.  He is Pro-life, he has run a business, he is married one time, he is smart, he is savvy, he is pro second amendment, he is for building a fence and following the laws of this land, and he understands the long-term war in which we must win. 

On his negative side he is from a small state in the Northeast.  I think this is worse than the knock on him for being a Mormon.  "Republicans" from the Northeast are notorious for being soft on social issues and free with other people's money.  Bush I, Jeffreys, Rockefeller, Whitman, Weldon, and, well, we cannot even name any rock-ribbers from that region, can we?  They aren't really down home GOPers.  I don't think, based on his record, that Romney is one of those types.  He did have to do certain things to get elected but, give him a break, he was trying to get elected in Massachusetts for Heaven's sake!  That says something about brass, ambition, smarts, and heart right there.

So, politically speaking, Romney should be fine.  I think he has the communication skills and fortitude to get his way if he is in office. 

I have never been to Utah.  I don't like Sprite that much.  Or short sleeve white shirts with dull ties.  BUT, I wouldn't mind visiting it someday.  It is purported to be a clean and beautiful state.  I believe it ranks high in many positive categories, like low unemployment and low crime rates, compared to other states.  It is a self-sufficient state.  Orrin Hatch is from there.  Who doesn't like him?  So, a state full of Mormons that sets great examples for other states and we should hold something against Mormons?  It doesn't make sense. 

Now, the part you've all been waiting to jump me for:  "Hey, ScarPimp, HE'S A MORMON!!! We'll all go to Hell if we vote for him!  We'll all have to ride bikes and talk to strangers if he gets elected!  It's a cult!  False doctrine!" 

1. False doctrine:  Each of our denominations has its own tenants.  If we took the time, we can pick and slam other denominations of their tenants because, obviously, they don't know what they're talking about and they are going to find themselves in a certain handbasket.  Remember all those letters from Paul?  Well, if you get yourselves a study bible, like my trusty NIV study bible, you'll read about what those folks who considered themselves Christians were doing.  Shocking!  Its like walking in on a Jefferson Airplane meets Valley of the Dolls reunion in Berkeley.  Or a meeting of the Massachusetts' body politic.  Anyway, my point is that none of us is perfect and Mormons are, at least, on the right path.  I'll leave it at that. 

2. God hasn't sent a flood to Utah in years.  Nor has it caught on fire.  They may have a frog problem, I don't know.  No dread plague except the Lakers.

3. If Romney tries to convert us all I'm pretty sure someone will notice and object.  The Left has gone after W for years and has successfully rejected Christ.  I doubt they'll listen to a Mormon.  And, as for me, no one can make me change my relationship with the Holy Trinity.  We are on good terms, I don't want to give our relationship a "little space".  If you're a weak Christian, what does that have to do with others?  What we all want is to keep our freedoms and this nice place called the United States of America in tact.  So we need a strong Repub in office.
And you know that our other politicians will impeach someone if necessary.  We have mechanisms in place to stop tyranny.

Aside: I know it sounds like I'm giving left-handed compliments to Romney and Mormons, but I'm addressing the objections to those who don't think Mormons are Christians; and think that the country will be doomed if Romney wins.       

Christians have lived under many rulers: Tiberius, Nero, Stalin etc.  Does Romney sound like he's in their league?  Of course not.  Also, we had Carter and Clinton in office of this great country and we're still standing.  You're still a Christian even if a Buddhist is in office (again. - little joke there, couldn't resist.)  Remember that God is in charge.  He puts leaders up and takes them down.  Read "Kings" for proof.  Maybe Romney will preside over the country while someone you like better is being developed to take over later.     

When I venture to discuss (others say "argue") issues with folks, I normally do not expect them to do the right thing and agree with me.  That way, it is always a pleasant surprise when they actually do come around to the correct point of view.  Therefore, I do not use my entire arsenal to "win" the argument.  I just put forth facts and hope for the best.  If they still disagree, well, so be it.

However, on the blogs (and sometimes in real life), if the issue is trey importante, I do pull out the truncheons and go to work.  I know I should have more patience for the special people out there who are a little slow on the uptake but I don't suffer fools very well.  These people, called "Libs", have a juvenile mindset.  They don't want to accept reality. They don't want to tell other grown-ups hard things.  Things like "take personal responsibility for your own life", or "it IS a 'living wage', it's just a sucky 'living wage' - you may want to improve your skills". 

What I get heated up by most is the junior high argument that starts with "But what will the rest of the world think?"  I hate this notion.  It is so annoying.  It's like when we were kids and everyone wanted to be cool so we all pretty much tried to do the things that the other kids in the group of which we were interested did. It didn't matter if it was good or bad, smart or dumb.  Fortunately I was gregarious and got along well enough with almost all the groups.  I didn't get the freaky artistes so much, though.  And I spent a fortune of my own earnings keeping up with the rich kids - but live and learn.  Anyway, I digress.

I want to point out that even teens had different groups of which they could care less what they thought about said teens.  And there were adults around to put a stop to outlandish behavior when necessary. A guardrail if you will. 

Today, we have too many so-called adults who honestly care what France, Peru, or Timbuktu think about the United States.  They don't want to be the adults in World happenings.  Now, don't get me wrong, I am well aware that we cannot go around giving the finger to everyone all the time.  But there are some things that we, as the big dog MUST do.  We should always be vigilant, as JFK said, and pay any price to spread and defend democracy.  We should spread capitalism.  And, in my opinion, Christianity.  I mean, we don't go to war with Canada or Ireland do we?  Regardless, we must do what's right and to hell with what others probably will say. 

I notice that Australia, Canada and now, (Heavens!), even France (pronounced Frahwnce!) seem to be realizing that enough is enough with the passive stance on the hard issues.  Issues like working for a living and immigration. 

So, when I see any entries from participants on the blogs that even smell like "What would Josh and Monica think?" I refer to them as "kids", "babies", "children" and "juvies" among other descriptive adjectives. I do whatever is necessary to shame them into silence which is the same as defeat.  I know it's not nice. It's the hard thing to do.  The great Judge Smails summed up my attitude toward the special people when he said, "I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them."